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A match asks you to “verify your identity” through a link: what’s going on

A new match says they need you to verify yourself on a safety website before you can meet? The FBI has warned about this. How the verification link scam works, and what to do if you entered your card details.

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You’ve been chatting with a new match. Things are going well, then they mention they’ve “been burned before” and ask you to verify yourself on a safety website before you meet. They send a link. It looks official and talks about protecting people from predators. In April 2024 the FBI warned about exactly this: fraudsters on dating sites and apps steering people to verification sites that sign them up for expensive monthly subscriptions and harvest their details (FBI IC3).

How the scheme works

  1. A match builds rapport quickly, then moves the chat to an encrypted messaging app.
  2. Framing it as a safety step, they send a link to a site promising to screen out sex offenders or criminals.
  3. The site asks for your name, phone, email and card number, sometimes saying the card is only to confirm your age.
  4. You’re redirected to a low-quality dating or adult site, and monthly charges from an unfamiliar business start appearing on your statement (FBI IC3).
  5. Your details may also be reused for identity theft or sold.

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Warning signs

  • A match you haven’t met insists on a third-party verification website.
  • They won’t continue, or won’t meet, until you do it.
  • The site wants card details for something described as a safety check.
  • The match moved quickly from the dating app to WhatsApp, Telegram or text.
  • The profile photos are unusually polished or provocative. Run them through the photo check above.

What to do if you entered your details

  1. Card: call your bank or card provider, block the card and dispute any charges.
  2. Password: if you created one on the site and use it elsewhere, change it everywhere and turn on two-factor authentication.
  3. Email: expect more phishing. Check the address with the email tab above, and read our guide to spotting scam emails.
  4. ID documents: if you uploaded a licence or passport, see IdentityTheft.gov in the US or IDCARE in Australia and New Zealand.
  5. Report the profile in the dating app and keep screenshots.

Where to report it

ImposterWatch Personal (US$9/month, cancel anytime) adds AI-powered romance checks and breach alerts for up to three email addresses.

Questions

Why would a scammer want me to verify myself?

The FBI says the sites in this scheme sign victims up for costly recurring subscriptions and collect names, phone numbers, emails and card numbers that can be used for identity theft or sold on.

Is there any genuine dating verification?

Yes. Many apps offer photo or ID verification inside the app, shown as a badge on the profile. You never need to leave the app or pay a third-party site because a match asked you to.

I’ve already paid. Can I get the money back?

Contact your bank or card provider straight away. They can block the card and may be able to dispute the charges. Keep screenshots of the chat and the site.

The site showed news articles saying it was legitimate. Were they real?

The FBI notes that these sites show fake articles to look trustworthy. Don’t rely on anything the site says about itself.

My match said they won’t meet unless I verify. What now?

That pressure is the giveaway. A genuine person can confirm you’re real with a short video call in the app. Report and move on.

Entered your email on a verification site?

Check that address at the top of this page, and watch your card statement for charges you don’t recognise. ImposterWatch Personal (US$9/month, cancel anytime) adds AI-powered checks, breach alerts for up to three email addresses and account recovery help.

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General information only, not legal or financial advice. ImposterWatch is operated by Cloud Investments FZE (UAE) and is not a background check or private investigator service.